(Just Read This! It's Funny) GTA Toronto

If you ever played GTA San Andreas and you have looked at the back and front of the game cover you will laugh when you see this.

Jane Finch

Jane Finch

The main character of the game. Lives in Brampton but eventually buys a mansion in Mississauga after becoming crime queen of the Greater Toronto Area. She starts out as a low level prostitute that has to work for Patrick Craig Smith for less than decent pay. She eventually kills her pimp in a moment of extreme ecstasy. She engages in pimping, dope dealing, extortion, gambling, and contract killings. As the daughter of a pimp and a crack whore, Jane was exposed to violence and crime from an early age, she witnessed her parents beat the shit out of one another and learned that violence was an acceptable way to solve problems. Jane ran with a street gang as a child and learned more about fighting and killing. She also learned that pimping and selling dope were good ways to make a living. She plans on leaving North York to expand her drug clientele. She later hooks up with Rex Dale, a gangbanger from Ghettobicoke. The first words uttered from his mouth were:"No good will come of this". Despite being from different turfs, Jane and Rex soon find out they have a lot in common and decide to join forces in order to satisfy each others primal urges (sexually) and to take over the city.

Rex Dale

Rex Dale

Jane's boyfriend and partner in crime. You get to play as Rex through certain parts of the game and he and Jane get to do many missions together. Many of them involve drive-by shootings with Rex driving and Jane pulling the trigger. Had a similar upbringing to Jane. Grew up in the notorious Jamestown region of the city and ran with street gangs throughout his youth. His mother was a hooker and he never knew who is father was. He meets up with Jane and the two join forces in order to take over Toronto. Rex is the only GTA:GTA playable character in the game other then Jane. He can be used in two player mode when Rex and Jane do a free roam around the city. Originally a Jamestown Crip, he is betrayed by his homies when it is found out he is dating Jane. Jane and Rex later destroy his former gang in a bloody shootout.

Don Mills

Local corrupt cop. You do many missions for him taking out rival gangs in a deal for amnesty. He later hooks you up with a police car and allows you to pull people over on the 401 for speeding and extort money out of them.

Sgt. John Garland

Local military officer. Like Officer Mills, he will use unorthodox methods to purge the city of criminals whom he refers to as enemy combatants even if it means using other criminals to do the dirty work. Provides Jane and Rex with a tank which they later use to level Scarborough.

Glen Erin

Local millionaire, lives in a mansion that you eventually have to take over and turn into a grow house/meth lab. Early on you do missions for him like shooting up the Toronto stock exchange, running over the neighbor's dog who keeps crapping on his lawn, and returning his porno tapes while being chased by angry Mormons and random Pakistanis.

Rival Gangs

• The Scarborough crackheads: A bunch of crackheads who sit at home and smoke crack. They have no girlfriend or job and they lack motivation to do anything other than sit around and smoke crack. Except smoking weed, and playing Nintendo 64, the only they can afford.

• Wiggers: A group of 13 year olds from Mississauga and Oakville, all from middle and upperclass familes. A typical wigger wears jersesys 3 times to big for them, shorts that go to their ankles and a yankees hat. They are not a threat but they will skateboard around the mall and yell profanaties at random people, annoying store owners and old people everywhere.

• Heaven's Devils: Local motorcycle gang. Jane and Rex fight them over drug turf and eventually end up working for Officer Mills to help bring down the gang. They don't do it for a good cause though, and only open up the city's drug market to themselves.

• Jamestown Crips: Rival group of gangstas from GHETTObicoke. A small street level gang. Are mostly destroyed in the Jamestown Shootout mission.

• Godstone Ganstaz: A bunch of white and asian guys who think they're tough. Hang around at Fairview Mall and terrorize the locals, especially morons who go to Yorkland, the local bankrupt private Christian school.

• Regent Park Boys: Another group of gangstas from Regent Park. They are also rivals with the Jamestown Crips. They are destroyed during the shootout downtown against Jane, Rex, and Don.

• Btown's Finestz: A group of gangstas that had relocated to Brampton once they were forced to be evicted from the slums of North York. They were pissed off to live with niggers every day.

• Tdot Tiggaz: Notorious tamil gang located in west Toronto. Their goal is to eliminate every other gang and take over Toronto's curry trade. Leader of this gang is known as RGJ. His enemy is MSA.

• Moscow Mafiya: A gang in East Toronto that hails from Russia. Their goal is to wipe out all other gangs in Toronto, & the police force, so that a new Russian state can be established in Canada. They carry some pretty heavy weaponry.

• Oakville Brownstains: Immigrant gang that has control of most of the western GTA and multiply throughout the game unless you deal with them early on. This gang can also buy out your businesses and turn them into curry factories. Often confused with the Jameswtown Crips as they tend to dress and act just like black people.

• Leafs Fans: Although technically a wing of the Tamizhan Rollers, the Leafs Fans spend most of their time being douchebags and waiting for 40 years for stuff to happen.